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Laughter therapy dose #3: "Male Shopper Syndrome"
This joke goes out to my wife who knows how much I truly loathe shopping. It's boring and I prefer to use a list and get in and out. My wife, like many women, loves to browse.
Recently, a wife received the following letter from the manager of a local Walmart:
Dear Mrs.Thompson,
Over the past few months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior, we are concerned about your husband's mental health, and we have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Thompson are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
On January 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and put them in the cart of elderly shoppers when they weren't looking.
On January 27: He set all the alarm clocks in Houseware to go off at 5-minute intervals.
On February 4: He made a trail of chocolate tapioca pudding leading to the restrooms.
On February 10: He went to the Service Desk and demanded to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
On February 28: He moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
On March 3: He set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
On March 15: He looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
On March 24: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
On March 25: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and began screaming: "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least...
Yesterday, on April 2: He went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Recently, a wife received the following letter from the manager of a local Walmart:
Dear Mrs.Thompson,
Over the past few months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior, we are concerned about your husband's mental health, and we have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Thompson are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
On January 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and put them in the cart of elderly shoppers when they weren't looking.
On January 27: He set all the alarm clocks in Houseware to go off at 5-minute intervals.
On February 4: He made a trail of chocolate tapioca pudding leading to the restrooms.
On February 10: He went to the Service Desk and demanded to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
On February 28: He moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
On March 3: He set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
On March 15: He looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
On March 24: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
On March 25: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and began screaming: "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least...
Yesterday, on April 2: He went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by White Lion on -
I feel on this, determine what it is you want, get it and be gone. If we're in a mall or a WMart, I can only take a about five minutes of walking back and forth. I usually go back out to the car or sit down somewhere. I just can't take, I fell like I'm in a boat with one oar out of the water.And then she starts to ask me questions, about this and that.
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Permalink Reply by Shaman on -
Yessirree, welcome to the club. I think it's genetic! Many a woman seem to have a real knack for this stuff. I guess they know fine things when they see it. But for me there's few things more anguishing than spending a perfectly good Saturday afternoon wandering up and down aisles to find things that we didn't need before we entered the store. And all the while my daughter is begging and pleading to camp out at the toy section with those damn Barbie dolls. It's like a really bad dream!
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